Nancy Edwards: The Dancing Grandma

I'm discouraged.......

Hi loyal readers! I wish I could report all sorts of wonderful career developments, but the truth is that I really don't know what I'm doing. After such a stellar start, my little women's group disbanded due to scheduling conflicts.

I continue to dance at least 3-4 times each week and the people present continue to love this demonstration of joy. In two days, there will be a photo shoot up at my beloved tavern. These photos will accompany a story on the "Dancing Grandma" in the quarterly magazine for the Lakeshore Weekly,
scheduled to hit the news stands the first week of May.

My 40-year old daughter has joined me in the joy of dancing at the Narrows this past month. It's really strange to see men I've dated hitting on HER! She's a better dancer than me - classier - but lacks the total abandon I possess. She's wondered this past year why her mom dances at a biker bar many hours a week. Now she knows! I'm delighted to have her experience this with me because it can't be easy to have a 60-something mom suddenly become a bar dancer!

Please stay with me and the news from this site.....I will continue to believe that there are far too few
examples of joyful living at my stage of life!

I decided to add this category so that I could share a few extraordinary solutions to age-old problems around the house, most especially pet problems. I've had 13 cats over the last 17 years - usually five at a time. Last summer, I was in the sad position of putting three down in just six weeks, so I "only" have two now.

The worst cat problem of course is urine or spray odors. Over the years, I've replaced whole rooms of carpeting, redone hardwood, and tossed many affected items due to this issue. I've tried every product on the market: Nature's Miracle, bleach, peroxide, Hot Shot, etc. None of these has worked to eliminate the odor. I hate to admit this, but I've felt forced to make the euthanasia decision for a couple of geriatric cats based on urinating outside the box.

Last summer, two of my 17-year old cats soiled a large area of my 10' round deep shag carpet. I had it cleaned, but the urine had soaked the hardwood floor below. I could barely stand to be in my living room due to the smell.

A miracle product appeared in a newspaper column: ATMOSKLEAR was the name. I found it in Target's air freshener department, brought it home and sprayed the hardwood. Within mere seconds, there was NO ODOR WHATSOEVER!!!!! I got down on my knees and put my nose to the floor: NO ODOR could be detected. This, after 3 months of stench and every possible product had been tried.

I got so excited about AtmosKlear that I called the toll-free telephone number and found myself speaking to its inventor. I got a real education on the topic of "odors". He explained that anything which smells emits gases and it's these gases which produce the unpleasant odors. His product literally eliminates the gases. He said he's demonstrated this by, among other tactics, placing a pile of dog poop on the floor and spraying it! The smell just disappears.

As we talked, I learned that this same miracle product eliminates other common odors:
HOCKEY EQUIPMENT (my roommate & all his hockey buddies use it)
DOG AND SKUNK ENCOUNTER STENCH
CIGARETTE ODOR ON CLOTHES
OVERSPRAY FROM BOYS BATHROOM USE
SMELLY SHOES

The list is endless and oh so impressive. I even considered repping this product in toddler departments for moms of little boys. The inventor, a local guy, suggested that I come up with a name for it. This was fun! I settled on PISS MISSED (or PISS MIST) but this idea went south when he said I'd have to purchase 1500 bottles of his product in order to rep for my own partial profit!

Enough on odors! There are two other solutions for pesky household problems I can mention in this post. One is pet hair on furniture: use a pet brush with little wire bristles. This also works on cleaning screens each spring!

Finally, to make porceline sinks pure white again with NO scrubbing, fill the sink with about two inches of water and liberally sprinkle dishwasher powder in it. Leave it for an hour or so, rinse it away, and your sink will look like new.

I'd welcome any "miracle cures" my site visitors have happened upon and will add them to this list.

Daylight Activity

I made a decision a few weeks ago that I spend entirely too much time only having fun AFTER dark and in places where people are drinking. This decision led me to getting a very part time job at Caribou
Coffee in downtown Wayzata. My logic? Well, I'd be meeting new folks in the daylight who weren't using alcohol.

I've had a really hard time however in learning a whole new skill set! In fact, I'm calling myself the
"Cari-booboo". There's a whole subculture and language to this environment. Terms like "moose it",
"skinny", "half caf", "dry latte", etc. continure to trip me up.

One "guest" last week had this order: turtle mocha with lite whip no shavings moosed twice five splendas no bean half caf extra hot soy milk lite caramel drip no bean. Get THAT?! My God - and of course she had a line of customers seven deep behind her!

Since I only worked a four-hour shift once a week, I had little chance to really "learn through repetition" in my new job. My most common, ridiculous mistake is closing my apron strings in the cash drawer after ringing up a sale. This traps me and renders getting the coffees impossible until I ring up the next sale as I'm tied to the drawer!

My first, and so far ONLY, stint on the bar making drinks spooked me enough that I've managed to avoid working the bar ever since. No one seems to mind because all the other employees prefer working the bar and hate the cash register function.

While attempting to steam milk to 160 degrees, I splattered it all over myself and the bar. This hurt and was all I needed to become instantly phobic around steamed milk. Unfortunately, most drinks require this dangerously hot ingredient.

I am not doing this for the money! In fact, I earn more in one hour as a therapist than I earn in 13 hours at the coffee shop. Last week, after one month of trying to "get it right", my manager sat me down and delivered negative feedback from my co-workers. They're annoyed that I ask so many questions. Tears welled up in my eyes and I felt like a little kid who can't do anything "right".

I considered never going back. If a low-paid, difficult job like this could ding my self-esteem this much, why even do it? Oddly, my very next shift went really well and everyone was extra nice to me, telling me I was doing a great job. I think the manager must've informed them that I might run out of there crying.

It's starting to feel like fun now, so I'll probably hang in there. At least it gets me out of the cottage and among other human beings! And, I get one pound of FREE Caribou coffee a week :)

More Publicity!

The editor of the Lakeshore Weekly newspaper just finished interviewing me for its quarterly magazine due out May 1st. Unlike the Strib article, there will be high-gloss color pictures and, I'm pretty sure, a
much meatier depiction of my evolving "second career".

This man was laughing the whole time because when I'm excited, I tend to be rather funny, not to mention that I had rock music playing the entire time and had to jump up a few times to show him some moves. I even got him to dance before he left. He said he'd never ever "had an interview like this one". No doubt.

I'm feeling a bit restless and wanting more to happen as soon as possible although I sure don't pretend to know what the "more" would look like! The "Dialogue & Dance" group started here last Saturday and more women will join us the second time. It seems they all loved dancing at one time and need this group to reclaim the joy of it.

The editor was particularly interested in what I wrote in a recent post about the difference between dance classes and free style dancing. He agreed that "Dancing for the Stars" may be somewhat off-putting to everyday folks (even though we love the show) because it only shows the finest, most dazzling dance moves. Even I tend to compare myself unfavorably to these professionally-taught
celebrities.

At this writing, I'm waiting for the manager of my favorite rock band to follow up on his interest in
having me along for private gigs to be a somewhat official "party-starter". I need more patience - or at least SOME patience! I feel all of this going on around me but can't know the shape it's all taking or where it will go.

Stay tuned, though!

Your Inner Dancer.......

In the past year, I've come to a realization: there IS an "inner dancer" in every human being. As a therapist, I've know for a long while that the three most immediate pathways to joy are singing, laughing and dancing. There are other somewhat immediate sources of joy, but these (like food, alcohol and sex, etc.) can be abused and become a problem!

As I've written elsewhere in this blog, my goal is to elicit the dancer at a person's core BEFORE parents signed him/her up for dance lessons. This is a very important distinction to make.

Many of us are watching "Dancing for the Stars" - right? I couldn't be more impressed with the week by week progress of these celebrities BUT they have access to the top professional teachers, not to mention countless hours and days of practice.

I doubt that many of us have this luxury. I have a concern that folks watching this show conclude rather quickly that "I could NEVER dance like that!", and they're probably right. I worry that shows like this one discourage the average person from even trying, especially given the amount of money it can take to do professional instruction.

My belief that we each have an inner dancer at our core means that there is NO RIGHT WAY TO DANCE!
Furthermore, how we move to music is innate, God-given, and can only be unique to each of us. One thing I've certainly noticed is that most men won't even try dancing until they've had several drinks.

How sad. Remember the fat guy on KQRS commercials who unabashedly danced back & forth across the screen? Everybody loved this commercial. The new Blue Cross/Blue shield commercial with the dumpy-looking man breaking out in full dance in the doctor's waiting room is yet another example of
how much we love a more spontaneous, natural form of dancing.

The point I'm wanting to make is that dance studios do NOT "teach" anyone how to simply move from their souls. They teach specific techniques which require hours (if not months) of practice, not to mention the necessity of having a dance partner! I know of no one who's out there "eliciting" the dancer who's already residing in one's "core" self.

More natural avenues certainly do exist for moving our bodies. For instance, rock concerts and African American church services bring out the "natural dancer" for sure! There are also a few "interpretive
dance classes" around and something called "movement therapy", but, to my knowledge, there isn't anyone out there who's actually offering to "model" such unconventional and spirited dancing.

I'm learning that it is in the "modeling" of uninhibited dancing that others finally give themselves permission to discover their inner dancer. I feel funny even considering getting paid to do this though because - like everyone else- I've been taught that making a living is NOT supposed to be pure, unadulterated FUN.

Too bad because that's exactly where my new career path is headed!

Working the Room Last Night

I can never get enough dancing, so yesterday, when the lead singer of a popular soul band emailed me to crash a party (private gig) at a local hotel, I said to myself, "WHY NOT?!"

I donned my cutest slinky salsa outfit and heels and took off for this adventure. I walked into a crowd of over 1,000 people and learned that this was the annual bash for the Chamber of Commerce!

Not to be discouraged by the sheer enormity of this gathering, I marched out onto the dance floor even though no one else was on it and began doing my thing. A few others then came to join me. Then more & more.

I worked the room by scoping out the wall flowers, the old men, the singles, and just about anyone who had the misfortune of meeting my glance straight-on. I inserted myself into couples and made it a triad. I did the cha cha with several solo female party-goers. I strategically placed myself toward the outside edges of the dancing crowd so that I'd be noticed more.

Yes, I know. I'm shameless. When I was little no one gave me any attention; here I am - almost 62-
and garnering more attention than most people get in a lifetime! Here's the "thing" though: people are
coming to life with energy and delight as a result of me finally finding a way to heal my wounds from the past.

It works for everybody. Today, the manager of this great band emailed his interest in me coming along as the band's "Extra bonus". I'm asking - after only this one experiment - to be introduced as the "Dancing Grandma of Navarre" at future gigs. I guess I'd prefer that people know who I am and what I'm doing at the affair?

It's hard to imagine anyone but me doing what I did last night. In fact, it's hard to believe that I did this myself! I'm thinking that there simply isn't enough joy out there for people to respond to. At this point, I'm quite uninterested in making money and VERY interested in expanding my venue for FUN.

After 3 hours of this high-energy experience, I still hadn't quite had enough and headed into Mpls to a
dance bar that had another good band. Here I danced with a John Travolta wannabe, several 21-year old boys, and a host of nice-looking men who were there with their dates. I don't suppose these dates appreciated my enthusiasm?

As I share this story, it occurs to me that this is the first time I've actually described an evening in my current life. It's been said to me over & over that my energy is unfathomable. I awoke early today and put on "She's a Brick House" and started all over again. My new roommate Al thinks I'm crazy.

Maybe I am, but I don't know of another person who's having this much FUN :)

LEARNING CURVE

Wow! All of this is so new, so foreign to me!! One month ago or so, I didn't even know what a web site or blog was, and here I am sharing my experience, hopes & dreams with thousands of people I don't even know. Wow.

This all started when I was fortunate enough to discover the Awesome Women organization. I had no clue that my energy was attractive or "usable" in career development because the only place where it was exploding and being treasured was the local tavern where I've danced this past year.

I'm constantly being encouraged to keep sharing as though you and I were sitting in a coffee house talking away the hours. And so, I will keep writing as this is just one venue for putting myself
"out there". So far, nothing even remotely negative has resulted and it's FUN :)

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for your interest in my journey. The stats indicate that, in just one week, over 1700 people have discovered this weblog. The only bothersome aspect to this for me is that it's 95% "one way" communication. Please do drop a line from time to time!

SIMPLE ABUNDANCE

I wanted to share this totally insignificant rambling with you........

I recently discovered that I've integrated enough or grown enough to find joy in the tiniest events. It occurs to me that accomplishing this means that all the really splashy events coming up will not only be "grounded", but less likely to rivet my attention away from what really matters: being contentedly in the moment.

Allow me to share one such tiny event. In preparing for my new roommate, I had to clean out many drawers for his use. I hauled out a big box filled with dozens of earrings, necklaces, and old jewelry and methodically picked through this mess, separating colors, styles, pairing long lost earrings, etc.

I then was faced with the dilemma of how to store 40 pairs of earrings in a way they wouldn't end up in spaghetti junction again. Later, while at the drugstore, I spotted a sale on mini ice cube trays. YES!! This would work! I came home with several trays and lovingly began to place each pair into its own little cubicle. I even graduated the colors from one spectrum to another.

I sat back I congratulated myself for solving a life-long problem! Never again will my earrings be tangled up, lost, or impossible to find.

With this dollop of joy came the lesson: if such a small task can be relished, I have open season on life's abundance! I made up my mind right then and there that no matter where my new career may take me, I will insist that I can always return to sorting earrings or sit quietly playing solitaire or
take a nap that I really don't need. I think it's called "building from the ground up".

Get Ready World!!!

Last Sunday, the long-awaited Star Tribune article on my dancing appeared.  In preparation for this mass exposure, I'm offering the first of many "services" to follow and encourage my web site visitors to email me with feedback and/or a desire to participate.

My initial format will be pretty basic:  a group of women coming together to dance and talk. With my therapy background on tap, I envision all of us sharing some of the issues we face in middle years before experiencing the joy of releasing and moving to music.

My goal is to elicit and invite the little dancer inside each of us - you know, the one who danced with no self-consciousness and with outright abandon BEFORE our parents put us in formal dance classes!  There's a tightly held secret just waiting to be freed:experiencing unadulterated JOY.

I will dance with you, share with you, and honor your own individual journeys.  If it's a small group, we'll meet in my home on Lake Minnetonka; if it's a larger group, I'll arrange for space near by.

We may even take a field trip once a month to a local dance bar and try on "being ourselves"! The first group meeting is tenatively scheduled for March 4 from 2 to 3:30.  Seven women who are in their fifties have already signed up.  If you're interested in participating, just email me at: crystalbaycottage@mchsi.com

I enthusiastically look forward to meeting you and being part of re-shaping your mind, body and spirit!

Nancy

Update: In just three days, a dozen women, all in their 50s, have emailed their enthusiastic interest in joining the very first "Dialogue & Dance" group! It would seem that they have an inner dancer who's not figured out a way to be expressed. Women think they're too fat, too uncoordinated, too old or too something to dance in this stage of life. They will soon discover none of these reasons need to prevent them from the joy they each deserve!  If you're interested in being a part of this group, send me an email!

First Public Appearance of the Dancing Grandma

Last summer, a very odd thing happened on my way to Ridgedale Shopping Center.  I needed to stop at Best Buy to purchase a CD with "It's Raining Men" on it. It was the middle of a work day.

A very large sales associate helped me find the version I wanted and played the tune out loud.  He subtly snapped his fingers and moved his hips to the rhythm; I followed suit.  We quickly were dancing full-out in the middle of Aisle 8!  This fellow was from Jamaica (I think), so he was a very good dancer.

A crowd gathered to observe this spontaneous burst of joy.  People walked by, trying to act like nothing was going on, but were compelled to peek at us from behind display shelves.  The department manager - not one to miss a great opportunity - video taped the incident.  Although I saw him do it, I had no idea what was going to happen next.