OK - after flailing about for ten minutes, I've found my way back to the page where the word "compose" appears. I also checked my site & saw that my previous post is indeed up, so I'll write a little more now.
Having pretty much shut down my Caringbridge site (caringbridge.org/visit/nancyedwards1), I've referred visitors from that site to this one since it's already established. My notion is that this will be my ongoing site for blogging about any & all things going ahead. I so enjoyed and was uplifted by writing my heart out during those treacherous months of cancer treatment that continuing to blog seems like a healthy thing to do. I certainly never intended for this dancing grandma site to turn into anything other that a pure lark, but things have changed for me. If there seems to be enough interest, I'll post with some regularity.
I'm still very much the only "dancing grandma" around these parts. I feel silly now for having thought that this beloved activity would ever turn into anything other than what it is. I guess my ego was a bit too involved, especially after the NYC adventure? One thing I will say is that dancing got me through chemo, radiation, and has largely contributed to recovering from what the docs call catastrophic surgery. I'm proud that I kept dancing with a chemo fanny-pack & a pic line dangling from my vein. I even danced for five different "audiences" at the cancer center on my final day of treatment. I had a singing card playing "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight" which was perfect for my 30-second "performanes".
I've grown & learned so much from this entire experience and have definitely become an even better, more attuned therapist as a result. Nothing like trauma & thinking you're gonna die in a few months to wake you up to the preciousness of the life you already have! One thing in particular for which I am extremely grateful: prior to the cancer diagnosis, I was already living in the glorious moment, so after I recovered (only a couple of months ago) I felt no need whatsoever to change or transform my life. I can honestly say that brushing up against a deadline brought no thoughts of "If I only had it to do over" or "what do I need to change now?". Nope, I loved my life just AS IS before the cancer and love it just AS IS now that I've resumed it after an arduous, scary detour. I missed an entire gorgeous Minnesota summer languishing in hospitals on a feeding tube, but coming back to life in the early fall is OK. I honestly did not know if I'd survive, but here I am, better than ever.
I'll be curious to see if there is any interest in this more serious blog or if there are any "transfers" from my Caringbridge site. I'm really hoping that there is and that this will become a pretty interactive process. That is, if I can figure out how to respond to comments you leave!
Nancy,
I absolutely love the point you made about not having to suddenly transform your life after the cancer diagnosis because you were already living it fully and contributing to the positivity of the Universe through your dancing and general awesomeness! People MUST NOT WAIT to embrace this ideology until they near the ends of their lives. What a supreme waste of a life! Thank you for being so inspirational to us all!
Posted by: Sid Korpi | January 10, 2011 at 12:49 PM