Nancy Edwards: The Dancing Grandma

Your Inner Dancer.......

In the past year, I've come to a realization: there IS an "inner dancer" in every human being. As a therapist, I've know for a long while that the three most immediate pathways to joy are singing, laughing and dancing. There are other somewhat immediate sources of joy, but these (like food, alcohol and sex, etc.) can be abused and become a problem!

As I've written elsewhere in this blog, my goal is to elicit the dancer at a person's core BEFORE parents signed him/her up for dance lessons. This is a very important distinction to make.

Many of us are watching "Dancing for the Stars" - right? I couldn't be more impressed with the week by week progress of these celebrities BUT they have access to the top professional teachers, not to mention countless hours and days of practice.

I doubt that many of us have this luxury. I have a concern that folks watching this show conclude rather quickly that "I could NEVER dance like that!", and they're probably right. I worry that shows like this one discourage the average person from even trying, especially given the amount of money it can take to do professional instruction.

My belief that we each have an inner dancer at our core means that there is NO RIGHT WAY TO DANCE!
Furthermore, how we move to music is innate, God-given, and can only be unique to each of us. One thing I've certainly noticed is that most men won't even try dancing until they've had several drinks.

How sad. Remember the fat guy on KQRS commercials who unabashedly danced back & forth across the screen? Everybody loved this commercial. The new Blue Cross/Blue shield commercial with the dumpy-looking man breaking out in full dance in the doctor's waiting room is yet another example of
how much we love a more spontaneous, natural form of dancing.

The point I'm wanting to make is that dance studios do NOT "teach" anyone how to simply move from their souls. They teach specific techniques which require hours (if not months) of practice, not to mention the necessity of having a dance partner! I know of no one who's out there "eliciting" the dancer who's already residing in one's "core" self.

More natural avenues certainly do exist for moving our bodies. For instance, rock concerts and African American church services bring out the "natural dancer" for sure! There are also a few "interpretive
dance classes" around and something called "movement therapy", but, to my knowledge, there isn't anyone out there who's actually offering to "model" such unconventional and spirited dancing.

I'm learning that it is in the "modeling" of uninhibited dancing that others finally give themselves permission to discover their inner dancer. I feel funny even considering getting paid to do this though because - like everyone else- I've been taught that making a living is NOT supposed to be pure, unadulterated FUN.

Too bad because that's exactly where my new career path is headed!

Working the Room Last Night

I can never get enough dancing, so yesterday, when the lead singer of a popular soul band emailed me to crash a party (private gig) at a local hotel, I said to myself, "WHY NOT?!"

I donned my cutest slinky salsa outfit and heels and took off for this adventure. I walked into a crowd of over 1,000 people and learned that this was the annual bash for the Chamber of Commerce!

Not to be discouraged by the sheer enormity of this gathering, I marched out onto the dance floor even though no one else was on it and began doing my thing. A few others then came to join me. Then more & more.

I worked the room by scoping out the wall flowers, the old men, the singles, and just about anyone who had the misfortune of meeting my glance straight-on. I inserted myself into couples and made it a triad. I did the cha cha with several solo female party-goers. I strategically placed myself toward the outside edges of the dancing crowd so that I'd be noticed more.

Yes, I know. I'm shameless. When I was little no one gave me any attention; here I am - almost 62-
and garnering more attention than most people get in a lifetime! Here's the "thing" though: people are
coming to life with energy and delight as a result of me finally finding a way to heal my wounds from the past.

It works for everybody. Today, the manager of this great band emailed his interest in me coming along as the band's "Extra bonus". I'm asking - after only this one experiment - to be introduced as the "Dancing Grandma of Navarre" at future gigs. I guess I'd prefer that people know who I am and what I'm doing at the affair?

It's hard to imagine anyone but me doing what I did last night. In fact, it's hard to believe that I did this myself! I'm thinking that there simply isn't enough joy out there for people to respond to. At this point, I'm quite uninterested in making money and VERY interested in expanding my venue for FUN.

After 3 hours of this high-energy experience, I still hadn't quite had enough and headed into Mpls to a
dance bar that had another good band. Here I danced with a John Travolta wannabe, several 21-year old boys, and a host of nice-looking men who were there with their dates. I don't suppose these dates appreciated my enthusiasm?

As I share this story, it occurs to me that this is the first time I've actually described an evening in my current life. It's been said to me over & over that my energy is unfathomable. I awoke early today and put on "She's a Brick House" and started all over again. My new roommate Al thinks I'm crazy.

Maybe I am, but I don't know of another person who's having this much FUN :)

LEARNING CURVE

Wow! All of this is so new, so foreign to me!! One month ago or so, I didn't even know what a web site or blog was, and here I am sharing my experience, hopes & dreams with thousands of people I don't even know. Wow.

This all started when I was fortunate enough to discover the Awesome Women organization. I had no clue that my energy was attractive or "usable" in career development because the only place where it was exploding and being treasured was the local tavern where I've danced this past year.

I'm constantly being encouraged to keep sharing as though you and I were sitting in a coffee house talking away the hours. And so, I will keep writing as this is just one venue for putting myself
"out there". So far, nothing even remotely negative has resulted and it's FUN :)

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for your interest in my journey. The stats indicate that, in just one week, over 1700 people have discovered this weblog. The only bothersome aspect to this for me is that it's 95% "one way" communication. Please do drop a line from time to time!

SIMPLE ABUNDANCE

I wanted to share this totally insignificant rambling with you........

I recently discovered that I've integrated enough or grown enough to find joy in the tiniest events. It occurs to me that accomplishing this means that all the really splashy events coming up will not only be "grounded", but less likely to rivet my attention away from what really matters: being contentedly in the moment.

Allow me to share one such tiny event. In preparing for my new roommate, I had to clean out many drawers for his use. I hauled out a big box filled with dozens of earrings, necklaces, and old jewelry and methodically picked through this mess, separating colors, styles, pairing long lost earrings, etc.

I then was faced with the dilemma of how to store 40 pairs of earrings in a way they wouldn't end up in spaghetti junction again. Later, while at the drugstore, I spotted a sale on mini ice cube trays. YES!! This would work! I came home with several trays and lovingly began to place each pair into its own little cubicle. I even graduated the colors from one spectrum to another.

I sat back I congratulated myself for solving a life-long problem! Never again will my earrings be tangled up, lost, or impossible to find.

With this dollop of joy came the lesson: if such a small task can be relished, I have open season on life's abundance! I made up my mind right then and there that no matter where my new career may take me, I will insist that I can always return to sorting earrings or sit quietly playing solitaire or
take a nap that I really don't need. I think it's called "building from the ground up".

Get Ready World!!!

Last Sunday, the long-awaited Star Tribune article on my dancing appeared.  In preparation for this mass exposure, I'm offering the first of many "services" to follow and encourage my web site visitors to email me with feedback and/or a desire to participate.

My initial format will be pretty basic:  a group of women coming together to dance and talk. With my therapy background on tap, I envision all of us sharing some of the issues we face in middle years before experiencing the joy of releasing and moving to music.

My goal is to elicit and invite the little dancer inside each of us - you know, the one who danced with no self-consciousness and with outright abandon BEFORE our parents put us in formal dance classes!  There's a tightly held secret just waiting to be freed:experiencing unadulterated JOY.

I will dance with you, share with you, and honor your own individual journeys.  If it's a small group, we'll meet in my home on Lake Minnetonka; if it's a larger group, I'll arrange for space near by.

We may even take a field trip once a month to a local dance bar and try on "being ourselves"! The first group meeting is tenatively scheduled for March 4 from 2 to 3:30.  Seven women who are in their fifties have already signed up.  If you're interested in participating, just email me at: crystalbaycottage@mchsi.com

I enthusiastically look forward to meeting you and being part of re-shaping your mind, body and spirit!

Nancy

Update: In just three days, a dozen women, all in their 50s, have emailed their enthusiastic interest in joining the very first "Dialogue & Dance" group! It would seem that they have an inner dancer who's not figured out a way to be expressed. Women think they're too fat, too uncoordinated, too old or too something to dance in this stage of life. They will soon discover none of these reasons need to prevent them from the joy they each deserve!  If you're interested in being a part of this group, send me an email!

First Public Appearance of the Dancing Grandma

Last summer, a very odd thing happened on my way to Ridgedale Shopping Center.  I needed to stop at Best Buy to purchase a CD with "It's Raining Men" on it. It was the middle of a work day.

A very large sales associate helped me find the version I wanted and played the tune out loud.  He subtly snapped his fingers and moved his hips to the rhythm; I followed suit.  We quickly were dancing full-out in the middle of Aisle 8!  This fellow was from Jamaica (I think), so he was a very good dancer.

A crowd gathered to observe this spontaneous burst of joy.  People walked by, trying to act like nothing was going on, but were compelled to peek at us from behind display shelves.  The department manager - not one to miss a great opportunity - video taped the incident.  Although I saw him do it, I had no idea what was going to happen next.

A VISION UNFOLDING....

My "vision" is transforming almost as fast as I am!  I've decided - along with tremendous encouragement from my fans - that I am a WOMAN UNCORKED!   My dancing is but one delightful vehicle for filling some needs I see in the universe.  Writing and speaking are also venues I plan to pursue. As to "what" it is that I'm pursuing, it is anything and everything I can do to exchange life energy with people in ways which can free them up to break the rules, be themselves, and have a lot of fun!